Not Ready to Go (Ch 23)

Late Sunday evening was bustling with the usual crowds walking from the plaza and coming back from service. Mauricia anxiously packed her metate and holy shrine in a box and placed it on top of a makeshift wooden sled Francisco made to drag the children. "Are you almost finished Mauricia?" Francisco asked as he tied the final knot on another box that contained clothing. Francisco carefully tied both boxes to each end of the sled to provide enough leverage and for the children to hold onto.


"Ya Francisco. I'm ready." as Mauricia checked the room for items that may have been forgotten.

Teresa and Leopoldo fit perfectly in between the boxes. Teresa looked up at Mauricia and said, "Mama, where are we going?"

Mauricia knelt down and caressed Teresa's face and said, "We are going on an adventure. I need you to help me with the little ones and keep Leopoldo safe. Agreed?" Teresa grinned and nodded in agreement as she put her small arm around her brother.

Francisco and Mauricia quietly left the poor stricken area of shacks and dirt roads and headed North to find a better opportunity. Francisco led the way by following one of the routes he was instructed to take.

"Francisco, is this route safe?" Mauricia asked as she nervously trekked behind him.

"It should be. Juanito said many of his friends have been through this route and would be safer for the children. Don't worry Mauricia, I have my knife and machete in case anyone wants to bother us." Francisco turned around and showed Mauricia the items under his shirt. We should reach the border by nightfall and determine where to cross."

Night fell and everything was pitch dark. Mauricia feared the darkness and whatever unknown creatures roamed at night. She walked quickly along the higher grass areas and cursed as she lost her step on a bulging rock that she did not see on the path. They could not be seen from the main roads as they would immediately be spotted and brought back to Mexico.

Francisco turned around to make sure the children were okay and to see if Mauricia was keeping up. The constant movement lulled the children to sleep. Mauricia was grateful they were undeterred by the commotion and prayed to God for safety. Mauricia did not want to go to the United States. She quietly told Francisco as they walked, "I feel like I'm walking away from my home. I have a sense of guilt Francisco and I cannot imagine going to an unknown place where I do not even speak the language. How will we live?"

Francisco turned around and looked at Mauricia and whispered, "We will do what everyone else does, which is manage. This is a necessity not only for us Mauricia but for our children. I want them to live like I have never lived. I want to give them other opportunities. We cannot let fear determine our future. We have nothing woman! What do you want to do? Go back to a country that at the moment is going through its' own financial issues? We are a mere drop of water compared to the thunderstorm that is going on in Mexico today. We need to act now; right now! If they cannot guarantee us a better life, then we need to make one for ourselves in a place that unfortunately is not our native land. I know you love Mexico, Mauricia. I promise we will return once we get back on our feet."

Mauricia sighed and whispered, "Alright, I'll try this for now but I am not excited. Go on Francisco, I cannot remain standing still waiting for the snakes to crawl across my feet. I will certainly wake up the children with my screams."

Francisco responded, "Hush woman, what you will do is frighten the animals more than you are of them. We are close to the river. Can you hear it?"

As they approached a hill, Francisco looked over and said, "There it is, el Rio Bravo."

Mauricia stood in awe of the river and wonderment that on the other side was another country. A country that could open the door to more possibilities as parents than what they currently had in Mexico.

The bushes began to move and Mauricia cringed expecting a coyote to lunge out. As she and Francisco huddled to the ground they spotted two men coming out. They were Mexican like them. Both men were large in height and dark. One man carried a knife in his mouth, gripped down with his teeth while he held another in his hand. The other man shouted, "Who is there? Come out! If you don't come out we will attack!"

Francisco stood up and said, "It is only myself, my wife and children. We mean no harm. We are trying to get across the river."

Both men looked at each other as the knife wielding one nodded at the other. "We do not cross for free! We take any money you have."

Francisco responded, "We have no money! That is why we are trying to get across!"

The man with the knife said, "That is fine, we will take whatever you are carrying, clothes, shoes, jackets!"

Francisco looked at Mauricia and her look was enough for him to answer, "Well we will go on our own! Thank you!"

Both men laughed as one said, "To hell with you! You will all die trying! We must warn you, if you decide to sleep here the night, you will not live to see morning!"

Francisco said, "We'll see who is right tomorrow!"

Both Mauricia and Francisco retraced their steps several yards back and followed the course of the river closer to the road. Francisco felt they may risk being seen but it was a better option than risking his families lives. Half an hour later, Francisco found an area comfortable enough and hard to spot by anyone around. As Mauricia and the children slept, Francisco woke up several times to check for predators keeping his machete in his hand.

The morning began to set in and Francisco felt it was the best time to cross the river. He woke up Mauricia and explained he would cross the children first and then come for her. Hesitant Mauricia did not like the idea and said, "I do not know Francisco. What if one of them falls in?"

Francisco answered, "That is why I made the sled Mauricia. Teresa can sit on my shoulders and Leopoldo and Maria de Jesus will ride on the sled with the boxes. Do you understand?"

Mauricia was overwhelmed with fright. She gingerly placed Maria de Jesus next to Leopoldo as she told Teresa to tightly hold on to Francisco while crossing.

"Francisco please be careful!" Mauricia yelled as he plunged in the water and held onto the sled while Teresa mounted his shoulders.

Teresa looked back at Mauricia and she could tell she was frightened, "Mama? I'm scared."

Mauricia could not think of words to appease her child in this moment, "I know mi reina. Francisco will get you across and I will follow."

Mauricia swallowed the lump of fear in her throat as she held back tears.

Francisco carefully pushed the sled with the younger children and the boxes as he waded with Teresa on his shoulders.

Teresa started to scream as water began to soak her. Francisco told her, "We are almost there! Hold on!" The water was moving faster than Francisco anticipated as it jerked him back and forth. He lost footing and was able to regain his stability with one foot. Francisco could see Leopoldo look at him with fright as he was crying from watching Teresa. He pushed the sled with all his weight to get the children across.

Mauricia was watching from land as she was crying from fear of seeing the current move Francisco and the children harshly. The idea of her losing her children was too great to bear as her heart was racing and she concentrated on Francisco's every move. Mauricia began to say, "Mama help me! Please I cannot lose my babies!"

Teresa screamed, "Mama!" as Mauricia was watching Francisco place her and the children on land.

Mauricia breathed a sigh of relief as she watched Francisco make his way back to her. Once he reached Mauricia he yelled, "Jump in!" Mauricia lunged in the water as she held on to Francisco's shirt. She followed his lead as he guided her across the strong current. Mauricia coughed as she swallowed water and in an instant felt a force suck her under. Mauricia lost grip of Francisco and she frantically was reaching for anything to hold on to. She tried to open her eyes but all she saw was murky water. She swallowed water as fear consumed her. Mauricia thought to herself, "I don't want to die!"

Francisco began to swim down with the current in hopes of seeing Mauricia. He could not see her. He reached in the water with his long arms and as he submerged himself in the water. He suddenly felt something. He pulled with all his strength and prayed, it was Mauricia. He was able to pull her by her hair and keep her from drowning."

He pulled Mauricia back out onto land as she coughed up all the water. As she lay on the ground she regained her thoughts as everything kept spinning. She tried to get up. Francisco only held her down as he hugged her and told her to stay on her side. He knew she was dizzy and needed some time to be okay.

"I will be right back, I need to get the children." Francisco went and pulled the children and Teresa over to her. Mauricia hugged everyone and thanked God she was able to make it out of that ordeal. Francisco kissed her forehead and told her, "I'm sorry I messed up your braids." Mauricia leaned her face on his hand and said, "Thank you."

"Now where do we go Francisco?" Mauricia looked up.

"We continue on this course heading to San Benito, Texas." Francisco answered.

"Why there?" asked Mauricia.

"I liked the name. I had a good feeling, that's all." Francisco answered as he placed the children back on the sled with the boxes and waited for Mauricia to re braid her hair to begin their journey again.

A Metate and A Prayer (Ch. 22)

Two months in Matamoros felt like an eternity for Mauricia with the sweltering heat. Selling gordas on the corner was profitable but at the same time gruesome as she felt her clothes were melting off her body from the suns scorching rays. Francisco took two jobs assisting with farm animals and another shoveling coal. Mauricia kept the children close by her as they slept and played under a tent she built beside her stand. Teresa helped with the younger children and kept herself entertained by organizing her mother's condiments.

Mauricia prepared the gordas swiftly and effortlessly like flowing water in a river. She became accustomed to the heat and the goal of crossing over the family was not far behind in her mind. She felt a determination that burned inside of her just as the sweat steamed off her skin. She did not find it difficult to cook as she assisted her mother at an early age preparing Gordas in Pinos. "Mama, mama, here are the plates." Teresa placed the pile next to her mother's feet. "Gracias, mi reina." Mauricia lovingly told Teresa.

A small child ran up to Mauricia's stand, "Doña Mauricia, my mother said you received a package, come by and pick it up." "Thank you Daniel, tell your mother I will come by two o'clock the lunch hour is almost over." Mauricia continued to pat the maza, heat her gorda's and take orders from a bustling crowd of men who finished their morning shift. Within time all is still and quiet as everyone had been served and by this time the sun was intolerable. Mauricia ordered, "Teresa, pack up the condiments and I will put the other items up." Mauricia meticulously organized her items and walked a block to her living quarters. "Ay Mauricia, let me help you." her neighbor Linda runs up to get a hold of Maria del Carmen from Mauricia's already occupied hands with other items.

"Daniel said you had something for me? I wonder who it is from." Mauricia asked. Linda eagerly said, "I wonder too, open it now! Mauricia opened the box and saw a letter on top. She opened the letter and saw it was from Cipriana. Mauricia clutched the letter to her chest and said, "Oh, thank you God, my Ciprianita! I was afraid she did not get my letter about our move."

Mauricia read the letter, "My Dearest Mauricia, I hope God finds you and your family well and with health. I cannot complain, if I live to see another day that is enough of a blessing for me. I received your letter about your problems and your move. Mauricia please take care of yourself and remember you are the rock that sustains the children. They need you to be strong regardless of whatever is going on around you. Pray to God for patience and strength. I pray for you everyday and love you as if you were my own daughter. I hope that woman, Ana, will not do any more harm to you and Francisco. I will light a candle everyday for you both to enlighten your paths with God's help."

The letter continued by saying, "Everyone is well and sends you their love. In the box you will find a letter from your brother Carlos and two items I want to pass on to you. One item I cherish with all my life and it is my Nuestro Padre Jesus de Pinos shrine and photo. You will notice two small medals on it and there is a story behind this. When the Revolution was at its highest peak we were scared to leave our houses for fear of being killed. Our men would leave to work but at times some did not come back home. One day after Benjamin came out of work and was walking home a herd of Revolutionaries came and rounded up any man they found walking the streets and took them to the main square. One of Benjamin's friends lived close enough to get to his house and pass the word down the houses that Benjamin and others were taken into custody. By the time word came to me I panicked. I had just given birth to Eduardo and did not know what to do. The only thing that came to my mind was I needed to get Benjamin back. I left Eduardo with my cousin and ran to my altar. I lit all my candles and prayed to God that Benjamin not be harmed. I looked at my Nuestro Padre Jesus and told him "You need to grant me a miracle!" I carried him over to my room and wrapped him up in Eduardo's cloth diapers and put him a drawer. I told him, "I'm sorry, I have to do this but I am desperate and I will not take you out until Benjamin comes home. I have all faith in you and leave this in your hands." I ran out of the house in hopes of finding Benjamin and willing to plead for his life. I walked a couple of blocks down from the house and could hear the sounds of gunshots as they were killing each one of the men. I hurried myself as I was making my way up a steep hill and I saw a shadow coming towards me from the other side. It was Benjamin! We ran to each other and I asked if he was okay. I asked him how was he able to get away. Mauricia you know Benjamin was a funny man. I guess we can say that God blessed him with that gift. He told me when it was his turn to be questioned in line one of the revolutionaries tapped his face with his rifle and asked "And you? What is your name and who do you live with?" Benjamin said, "My name is Benjamin and I live amongst the living, sir!" His comment caught the man off guard and he let out a boisterous laugh and told him, "Your funny! Now leave before I change my mind. Run now!" Benjamin ran as fast as he could and that is where we found each other on top of the hill. Nuestro Señor has granted me two miracles one with Benjamin and one by sparing me from harm by walking alone in the streets that day. I think you need Nuestro Padre de Jesus now more than this old woman.

Mauricia looked over the patron saint of Pinos and admired him and placed him on her dresser. She picked up the letter and continued to read:

The other item in this box I took from Gertrudes' house. She passed away six months ago and died alone. I went to pay my respects and many things were being thrown out of the house and I saw this item. I immediately recognized your mother's metate (mealing stone) and remember it fondly. I used to joke with your mother about it's broken leg and she did not care as long as it still worked. I should know about this metate as I was with her when she picked it out and it was still in the same red bag your mother carried it in. I thought this is the only thing of your mother that is left and who better to have it than you. I hope to see you one day. With all my love, Cipriana."

Mauricia sighed and rubbed her hands over the metate as tears streamed down her face. "This is the closest thing I have of my mother. I remember her making gordas on this early in the mornings and carrying it on her back. I cannot believe this. I feel like a part of my mother is back with me." Mauricia looked up and smiled at Linda and said, "This was my mother's."

Wiping away her tears Mauricia hurried to open Carlos' letter. "Dearest Sister, It has been a long time since we have communicated and I hope this letter reaches you to learn the following changes in my life. I finished my term with the military as I promised you. I felt at this time in my life it was time for me to get married. I know I had no one in mind at the time but I set out on horse to Guadalajara to find a wife."

Mauricia puts her hand over her mouth as she says, "Ah! He is insane! He makes it sound so easy." She continued reading: "As I arrived in Guadalajara I came across a small town to stop for the night. The next day I walked around to find something to eat and I saw her across the street. She was petite, fair skinned, long dark hair, and beautiful. I never felt this way in my life. She took my breath away. When I went in one of the restaurants I asked the waiter about her. He hunched over to me and said, "Do not bother. She is the Mayor's daughter and she has no time for you."

"I hurried to eat my breakfast and thought this is the best time to meet her than never. I had no one to speak on my behalf for introductions. I paid my tab and determined I walked across the street. I introduced myself, she smiled, and said her name was Beatrice. I asked her questions about the town and the surrounding areas. Mauricia, I'm glad to say she was not stupid. I was afraid she was only beautiful but nothing else. Beatrice told me about the history and their agriculture as we sat underneath a tree. Time stood still for us at this point. She did not hesitate to answer or ask questions. I can tell she took a liking to me too. That was enough for me. I asked her, "Beatrice, when can we talk again? I have no time to spare and am looking for a wife." She was taken aback by my comment, and said she was not sure her family would approve. Beatrice said she was impressed by my perseverance and respect towards her. I was not pushy or obnoxious like the other men in her town. Let me tell you sister, we met six more times before we knew we were in love."

"Her father was not fond of me and made it clear he would not approve our relationship. Beatrice was heartbroken but I told her I would offer her the world if she would be my wife. I have two arms, legs, a heart and brain. God has blessed me with this and more and was willing to work hard to make her happy. I decided to do what was best for us both, before nightfall on our last visit I told her to get her belongings and run away with me. The next day we met again and this time she had her things thrown out of her bedroom window and as the sun set Beatrice and I left. We were married in the next town two days later. We are happy and looking for a place to settle down. Please write me back as I have not heard from you in some time. Your loving brother, Carlos."

"I cannot believe this man! He had some nerve, but now he seems to be happy. Good for him." Mauricia puts both letters up in a safe place in her one bedroom shack. Linda could not believe what she had heard and told her, "I will see you tomorrow, I need to finish making dinner, I don't think I need to hear any gossip today after your letters."

Mauricia beamed at her metate and knew she would happily put it to use at her stand. A short time later Francisco entered hot and sweaty from work. "I'm starving, what is there to eat?" he asked.

Mauricia pulled out his plate she had prepared and placed it in front of him as she told him about her package. Teresa and Leopoldo patted the metate as Maria de Jesus lay asleep on the bed. Francisco laughed and said he was content to see her happy for once. It had been a while since he had seen her smile.

"I have something to tell you Mauricia and it cannot wait. My cousin wrote me a letter that Ana found out we left San Luis and my mother told her we were here." Stunned Mauricia asked, "What!? Is she crazy? Why? Now we have to leave soon!"

"Mauricia! I had to tell my mother in case of an emergency. She did not tell Ana with any bad intentions. She accidently told her our location because Ana was accusing me of fleeing to avoid paying her the children's maintenance. My mother responded by telling her we were running away from no one and she knew we were staying in Matamoros. Ana then said, "okay, maybe I should try my luck across the border too." That is why my mother told my cousin to warn us."

Mauricia asked, "Where are the children?" Francisco said, "My mother found out she left them in the care of a family friend and told her she was seeking a better future for her children across the border."

Mauricia pounded on the table, "She is a liar! She has no intentions for your children other than laying around with men for favors and making our lives hell! She is not a mother to those children. Francisco, we need to go before she finds us again." Francisco looked at Mauricia and extended his hand and placed it over hers, "I know, that is why we are working through this week and we will start our journey across the border Sunday."

Enough is Enough! (Ch. 21)

The guard announces, "Delgado Alvarez!" "Present!" Mauricia yells.

"You've made bail, get out." as the guard motions Mauricia to exit.

Mauricia gathers her children including a new addition, Maria de Jesus. A year and a half had passed since several encarcerations and by now Mauricia was at her wits end. Francisco stood outside the building waiting for her to come out.

"Francisco, we need to do something!" as she hands over Teresa and Leopoldo to Francisco. "We have no money from paying bail here at El Charco Verde and I cannot live like this any longer! Ana has put us both in jail one too many times! She is evil, pure evil! I cannot get groceries without her seeing me in the street and screaming obscenities at me forcing me to run away! I have to look behind my back everywhere I go! What hurts me more is that my children are involved! How can a person have this much hate? What did I do to her?"

Pleading Francisco explains, "Mauricia, what more can I do? The attorney I hired has drafted a letter protecting us from harassment and that should end this situation."

Crying Mauricia says, "Our children are starving, and we have nothing left! Ana has made it clear she does not want us to be happy! She has clearly said, "I hope nothing but the worst for you and your children! May you never be content!"

A man that was standing against the wall of the jail overheard the commotion and walked over to Mauricia and Francisco. He nudges at Francisco and says, "Hey, why don't you sign up for the Bracero Program? They are contracting Mexicans to work across the border, that's the truth! There is so much work some of the Ranchers are crossing over picking us up across the border promising shelter and good pay!"

Francisco eyes Mauricia and he motions with his head, "Vamonos Mauricia!" (Let's go, Mauricia)

Mauricia can hardly speak from emotion, "They are n n not contracting wo women, Francisco. They need me men!" Francisco looks at her and says, "Dammit! I am not going anywhere without my family! I told you this a long time ago woman do you not understand? I am not Francisco, without Mauricia and my children! Are you ready to go to jail again?"

Mauricia looks away as she says, "No! My God you are crazy but I have to agree. I will start packing when we get home. I would not make it by myself with the children and Ana lurking behind."

As soon as Francisco and Mauricia made it to their house, they began to pack the little belongings they had left. Francisco discussed his decision with his cousin and told him to look after the house while they were away. His cousin agreed to his request and bid him farewell and good luck.

Night fell and Francisco and Mauricia toted their children and bags to the bus station. Francisco placed most of his earnings on the counter and ordered tickets to Matamoros, Mexico. Within time of staying in Matamoros, Francisco hoped he would collect enough money to get his family and himself across the border. Mauricia silently prayed as their bus departed. She prayed that they could lead a normal family life and watch their children grow up. Nothing else mattered to her at this point, living close to "normal" was her dream.

During the ride Francisco whispered to Mauricia, "I'm sorry you had to go through all this Mauricia. Would you ever leave me?" Mauricia was rocking Maria de Jesus with her eyes slightly shut and said, "I've finally realized we were meant to be together. God knew I could handle your problems and you could handle mine. He knew what he was doing. Even if I left I think life would make us come back together." Francisco grins and laughs quietly, "then we are stuck with each other, are we not?" Mauricia nudged him and smiled. Francisco said, "I love you gorda." Mauricia nudged him again and whispered, "I love you too and stop calling me fat. Now let me sleep."

Who Said Everything Was Supposed To Be Perfect? (Ch. 20)

"Take your things and never come back! Take that, and that, and that!" were the words from the song that resonated from the radio that Andres listened to while working around the house. "Amigos, esta es la XEW, la voz de America Latina desde Mexico", (Friends, this is XEW, the voice of Latin America from Mexico). Everyday, Leopoldo de Samaniego would greet his listeners' with this phrase.

Mauricia cracked the front door open and peeked through to see who was at home. When she heard the radio she cringed as she knew Andres was home. Not far behind her she heard footsteps and was told to move out of the way. It was Miguel as he rushed by Mauricia to get to the restroom.

Mauricia stood in the middle of the living room wringing the corner of her dress from worry wondering what her brothers would say about her decision. Francisco would arrive shortly to talk to both of her brothers and tell them she was moving in with him. Francisco wanted to get their blessing as their situation would not allow marriage right away.

Miguel walked into the living room happy and relieved as he patted his belly. "Why are you so nervous sister? What's wrong?"

"It is nothing Miguel; I have a lot on my mind." Mauricia stuttered.

There was a loud knock on the door and Mauricia's throat closed up. Her knees felt queasy and she was not able to move forward.

Andres answered the door, as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. Francisco walked in, slow and steady. He greeted Andres and asked if he and Miguel had a moment to speak with them. Andres called Miguel as Francisco nodded at Mauricia. Francisco noticed her stressed behavior and whispered, "Mauricia! Get a hold of yourself!"

At that moment, Mauricia snapped out of her thoughts and into the present with her brothers and Francisco.

Miguel walked into the room and asked, "How can we help you?" Francisco answered, "My name is Francisco Alvarez and I am here to ask for Mauricia's hand in marriage."

Both brother's looked at each other and Miguel walked up to Francisco, "So you are the suitor that decided to marry someone else over our sister? You are the one she cried herself to sleep over? Your family degraded our sister with insults and now that your marriage didn't work you came back too see if she would take you back?"

Miguel turns around and walks past Mauricia and says, "Mauricia, tell him to leave."

Mauricia looked at Miguel and said, "Miguel, I want to marry Francisco."

Miguel turned around and looked at her, "Then your more naive than I thought! Do you not see he is using you? Why, Mauricia, why? He has children with this other woman and now he wants you to take care of them. You will never be able to get married. A divorce is difficult to accomplish in these days."

"You don't understand Miguel," Mauricia interrupted.

Andres spoke up and said, "You are right Mauricia, we do not understand, but you better understand this. We will never accept him into our family. You can go Mauricia but do not expect help from us! We want the best for you and you want to ruin your life with someone like him?"

As Mauricia cried, Francisco hugged her and told her brothers, "My situation does not offer much to a woman like Mauricia. I understand your reasons but please do not take it out on her. She loves you both and I do not want to be responsible for her losing you again. You do not have to like me, but please support her. I promise I will make her happy and not let her down. I offer her the little I have, all of it, for her."

Miguel had no other words to say, "Leave now! There is nothing else to discuss!"

Mauricia rushed to her bedroom and packed her things in her suitcase. She carried Teresa in her arms and walked out of the house with Francisco. She cried all the way to her new home with Francisco.

Time passed and Mauricia made the best of her new living arrangement. Francisco and she submitted all appropriate paperwork and documentation to the church to annul his marriage to Ana. The priest could not confirm how long the process would take. Francisco and Mauricia realized it would not be overnight as it had to go in front of the Bishop and possibly higher. They left their hopes in the hands of God to help them realize their dream.

Francisco purchased a piece of land with the little money he was able to save up from his mining contracts. He mined from time to time to make ends meet as he still sent money to Ana for his children. Mauricia prayed for patience as the money Francisco sent to Ana would have been a blessing for them. Mauricia had nothing else to do but conjure up ways to save money and make food last longer than starve. She made her own clothes for herself, Teresa, and Francisco. Mauricia worked mending clothes, ironing, and washing to earn extra money.

Francisco adored Mauricia's determination to move forward and not let their lack of money get her down. Francisco was even more elated as within a couple of months he and Mauricia would have their first child.

Mauricia stayed home tending to the house while Francisco was picking up his pay from the train depot. She valued her home and the little they owned but was happy for the first time in many years. Mauricia still yearned for her brothers' approval of her relationship with Francisco. She hoped within time they would see their error and talk to her again.

"Bam, Bam, Bam!" Someone pounded the front door. Mauricia knew it was not Francisco as he carried his key. Mauricia wobbled to the front door to see who it was. Teresa sat in the kitchen as she peeked down the long hallway at her mother.

As Mauricia opened the door, she gasped at the sight of the person on the other side. "What do you want?" asked Mauricia. Ana stood there with a smirk and looked over Mauricia's shoulder to get a peek of the house. Mauricia closed the door behind her to block Ana's view. Ana announced, "Tell Francisco I did not get his money this month for the children."

Mauricia said, "You did receive your money. Francisco sent it as a money order and we kept our stubs." Ana sighed and said, "Well, just tell him that I came by and he better have my money or I will call the authorities on you both!" she began to laugh and pointed at Mauricia's belly.

Mauricia slammed the door shut and rubbed her belly as she walked back to the kitchen. Moments later Francisco came home while Mauricia finished making dinner.

"Ana came by looking for you." Mauricia told Francisco.

"What for?" asked Francisco

"She said you did not pay her the children's maintenance for this month. I told her you did and we kept receipts. She threatened to call the authorities on us." Francisco waved his arm in the air and said, "Just let her do it Mauricia. She doesn't know what else to say. Just be careful, I don't trust her." Mauricia whispered under her breath as she served Francisco, "I don't either."

Another month passed and Mauricia gave birth to their son, Leopoldo. Leopoldo was the spitting image of his father. Both Mauricia and Francisco took him to the church to get baptized. Teresa loved having a little brother and helped Mauricia change his diapers. Francisco worked harder to keep his family together and Mauricia happy.

Two weeks after Leopoldo's birth, there was another pounding at the door. "Bam, bam, bam!" Mauricia laid Leopoldo down and told Teresa to watch him while she answered the door. She knew it had to be Ana. As she opened the door, two police officers walked in and put handcuffs on Mauricia.

"What is going on? Why are you doing this?" Mauricia screamed. "You are under arrest for stealing this woman's money." the officer informed her. Ana stood there with a huge grin and continued her role-playing. "Yes, she was the one that stole my children's money! Now I have nothing!" as she sobbed into her handkerchief.

"Mauricia dug her heels into the ground and said, "I have a newborn that is breastfeeding and a toddler in the back! You cannot take their mother and leave them behind, that's abandonment! What can we work out to let me go?" One of the officer's walked up to Mauricia and whispered into her ear, "If you pay us with the same favor she paid to arrest you then we might be able to arrange a release. Let me tell you, she did not pay with money."

Disgusted, Mauricia cried, "Go to hell and I'm bringing my babies with me!"

"If that's what you want" said the officer. The officers toted Mauricia's babies and her into the car. Mauricia yelled at her neighbor, Socorro, who with a confused look listened to her every word, "Get Francisco immediately and tell him to find me in jail!" Socorro made the sign of the cross as she scurried away saying "Ave Maria purisima!"

Hand in Hand (19)

"Congratulations brother on your graduation," Mauricia said to Andres as she hugged him. Carmela complimented, "Andres, you look very handsome in your shirt. The tailor did a good job." Mauricia could not help but try to ignore that comment as it brought memories of Francisco back to mind. The family held a party at the house for Andres' graduation. All their new friends and neighbors were invited. Maria Guadalupe came with her daughter Lisette to visit for the occasion. Maria Guadalupe seemed happier since her daughter's adoption although her husband was not as receptive. Lisette was a dainty little girl with almond shaped eyes, tiny lips and fair skinned. Lisette was everything to Maria Guadalupe and she showered her with toys and clothes. Mauricia was happy to see Maria Guadalupe in a better mood and enjoying her life with her new daughter.

As the evening went on Mauricia excused herself and went to her room with Teresa to go to bed. Mauricia was not in a festive mood and felt she needed to finally take care of her concerns face to face with Francisco. "I have to go to the railroad company and find Francisco", Mauricia stated aloud. "What is wrong with me? I need to get this off my chest and maybe I can finally move on. That is what I will do. Once I say what I need to say to Francisco I think I will feel much better."

The next morning Mauricia was sick to her stomach from nervousness about going to Francisco's job to speak to him. After breakfast Mauricia was getting dressed to go to the railroad company when there was a knock at the front door. Mauricia scurried to the door to see who it was and found Estella standing there with a huge grin. Estella leaped over to Mauricia and hugged her stating, "Cousin, it has been a long time since we've seen each other! How are you and Teresita?" Mauricia answered while in embrace, "We're doing well, thank you Estella. Where are you staying?" Estella waved her arm in the air and said, "Awww, I'm staying with a comadre from Zacatecas that now lives here in San Luis. When are you able to sit down and converse? I have some information you may find important about your family lineage!" Mauricia reluctantly answered, "Well, I was about to go and see someone," as she scratched her head. "If you're busy I can come back another day or do you mind if we walk and talk? I know you will want to know what I know!" Estella said as she shook Mauricia by the shoulders. "Alright, let's go Estella. If it's that urgent come with me." Mauricia motioned Estella to come inside and soon they were heading out of the house. Teresa enjoyed Estella's company as she was more playful than Mauricia and abides to Teresa's requests to be swung around and carried.

"Well, what is this news you have to tell me that is urgent?" asked Mauricia. Estella asked Mauricia, "Do you know the name, Aurelio Manrique?" "Yes, I've heard of him on the radio or somewhere, why?" Mauricia looked at Estella. ""In speaking with the elders on your mother's side in Zacatecas they repeatedly mentioned he was your mother's uncle, which makes him your second uncle." Estella jumped in elation. "Do you not understand? This man was governor of the state of San Luis, a politician in Mexico City and Director of the National Library of Congress in Mexico City! This is a huge piece of your puzzle." Mauricia looked at the ground as they walked and focused on Estella's face and said, "How sure are you of this? His last name has no z." Estella responded, "Oh Mauricia, everyone is dropping a letter or changing their last names now a days. Some people in the pueblo's don't know exactly who's father is who or take on another family surname due to issues. Mauricia laughed and said, "Your right Estella, I was only a Manriquez for many years until I met my real father. Regardless, I'm happy for his accomplishments and proud that we come from such a strong lineage. This helps me answer a lot about myself and my mother."

As the women continued their walk, Estella asked Mauricia, "Where are you going? With the news I have given you, your still in a daze. What's going on?" Mauricia looked at Estella and asked her not to mention anything and began to tell her the encounter she had with Francisco. Estella told Mauricia, "You have struggled since your mother's death and I can only say follow your heart. Talk to the man. Remember, he accepted you with your daughter and respected you like no other. I think he deserves a moment to explain his side of the story. Anyhow, who else will put up your stubbornness woman?" Mauricia smiled and said, "Your right, that is why I am going to the railroad company to look for him." Estella hugged Mauricia and said, "No one is perfect Mauricia. Some men have problems and some men have no shame. The only way to tell the difference between a dysfunctional man and a descent man is when problems arise the dysfunctional man will always quit and run away. A descent man will fight against everything, put their family first, and love their companion through all hurdles. No marriage is perfect but if life has brought you together every time, I can tell you, God is trying to give you a message. You are meant for each other. Why don't you put your problems together and support each other? Ha ha ha, Estella laughs boisterously as she slaps her leg." Mauricia sternly looks at Estella, "Don't make fun! Do you know how long I have suffered for this man?" Estella looks at Mauricia and tells her, "Learn to laugh at yourself Mauricia. If you cannot laugh at yourself, you will spend the rest of your life crying. Now go and find him! I will wait here with Teresa at the front of the company building." "Thank you Estella, I will try not to take long." as Mauricia touched Estella's hand. "Don't take too long or else I will have Teresa asking for handouts!" Estella yelled as Mauricia went through the door. Mauricia winced as she heard Estella's comment.

"Can I help you Senorita?" asked a man as he approached Mauricia. "Yes, I am looking for Francisco Alvarez. I need to relay a message to him please." Mauricia nervously responded. "Oh, Francisco! You can find him in the back by the dock station. He works loading trucks. Go through this back door and down the stairs. Make a right and walk to the next building by the tracks and he should be there." "Thank you sir." Mauricia said as she hurried to the back door. Mauricia hesitated once she hit the bottom of the stairs. Her heart was racing and her palms started sweating. Mauricia could not understand why she was so nervous but knew in her heart she had to go through her plan.

As Mauricia approached the building she heard whistles and comments yelled at her, "Hey sweetie, are you looking for me? You've found me!" In an instant she heard someone say, "Shut up!" Everyone turned around and Francisco stood there and dropped the load he was carrying to the ground. He walked over to Mauricia and said, "Thank you for coming. I'm sorry you had to go through this." Mauricia blushed and said, "When do you have a moment to talk?" Francisco looked at her and said "my lunch hour is coming up and we can talk then." "I'll wait in the front of the building with Teresa and Estella." "Estella is here? How is the old maid? Feisty as always?" Francisco chuckled. "Francisco!" Mauricia said as she hit his arm.

Mauricia waited patiently in the front of the railroad company as she and Estella entertained Teresa. Moment's later, Francisco walked out with his lunch pail at hand and approached the ladies. "Hello Estella, nice to see you." as he shook her hand. Estella shook Francisco's hand and said, "Doing great! Visiting family and came to see what Mauricia is up to. Now can you two talk and get this straightened out?" Francisco walked the ladies and Teresa to the nearest Plaza to sit at the park benches and talk. Mauricia heard about Francisco's illness, the wedding, his marriage with Ana and the problems that followed. "You have two children Francisco?" asked Mauricia. "Yes, Francisco and Beatrice." answered Francisco. "Mauricia, I love my children very much. They are the only thing I care about in this world aside from you. They live with their mother here in San Luis. I see them on occasion to make sure they are fine. These are not words I am saying to you. I mean them. Everything that happened was not what I wanted for us. The house was supposed to be ours, I wanted to marry you, my life was to be with you and I feel like a failure that I let you down and I have nothing to offer. I want to be with you. I understand my situation is not good and with my divorce it may take time to finally get it approved but I know I want that done even if I have to die doing it. I want to marry you Mauricia. When I am with you I feel at peace and do not have to worry about you hurting me. We've been hurt enough by life and other people. I want to protect, love, and live with you for the rest of my life." Mauricia had tears in her eyes and had no words to say as she was overcome with emotion. She knew Francisco made her feel safe and respected her when everyone else shunned her in town. Mauricia held Francisco's hand and said, "Together, these hands will accomplish and overcome many things. I am willing to go through it all with you Francisco." Francisco stood up and picked up Mauricia in elation as he hugged her and thanked her profusely. Embarrassed, Mauricia kept saying, "Francisco! Your causing a scene, put me down!" Francisco said, "I'm putting you down now, but today your coming home to stay with me forever!" Mauricia stood in shock and thought, "What are my brother's going to say about this?"

To Sin or Not to Sin? (18)

Once Mauricia regained her thoughts after seeing Francisco, she walked back to La Iglesia del Carmen where she met with Padre Vicente about teaching on the weekends. Unfortunately, Padre Vicente had plenty of people assisting him in religion classes and Mauricia was disappointed. "Is there anything I can help with aside from the classes?" asked Mauricia. At this point she needed to get out of the house and find a distraction from Francisco and the confines of the house. "Senorita Delgado, I will inquire within the church and see if your services can be utilized elsewhere." responded Padre Vicente. "Thank you padre, I will return in a week to check again." Mauricia graciously answered as she kissed his ring finger out of respect.


Upon her arrival to the house a letter was waiting for her on the kitchen table. Mauricia's cousin, Estella, was coming in from Zacatecas to stay for a month. Mauricia appreciated Estella as she understood Mauricia's yearning about her past and her extended family. Mauricia and Estella were never very close but Estella always provided some information about her family or background when she had found some new information. Estella was a free spirit who was several years older than Mauricia. She had long black and gray hair which she wore in a braid with brightly colored ribbons. Mauricia admired Estella as she was not afraid to get up and venture to unknown places. Mauricia called her "La Gitana" (the gypsy).


As Mauricia folded Estella's letter and placed it in her pocket another thought came to her mind. "What is going on with Carlos? I haven't heard from him since the move and the last letter he sent indicated he was on his last year of service in the military." Teresa ran into the room and hugged Mauricia's leg, "Mama!" "Did you enjoy yourself at the Plaza? asked Mauricia. "Si! Uncle Miguel bought me peanuts and we fed the birds seeds. There was a lot of birds mama!" Teresa explained as her little hands motioned frantically showing Mauricia the extent of birds at the plaza. Mauricia picked up Teresa and took her to the kitchen to get dinner ready.


A couple of days later Mauricia could not stop thinking about her encounter with Francisco. She was angry at herself for not being able to forget him and continue with her life. "I am going to the church for a confession. This is worrying me so much I cannot concentrate on my responsibilities." Mauricia told herself as she was brushing her hair. She dressed Teresa and headed out of the house by mid-morning to the closest church by the house.


"Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been one month since my last confession." Mauricia began at the confessional while Teresa sat on the pew next to her. "What brings you to confession my daughter?" answered the anonymous priest behind the screen. By now Mauricia wanted to remain anonymous as the situation with Francisco had perplexed her so much she did not want anyone to know. She felt if anyone was aware, especially her brothers, they would not approve and give her a hard time. "Father, I still have feelings for a married man. I know it is a sin but our relationship was interrupted by another woman who married him while he was close to death." Mauricia blurted out and held her breath anticipating the priest's response. "Well... If he is married there is nothing else to say my child." he responded. "I understand, but can I explain what happened in order for you to understand my situation and help me put my thoughts in order?" begged Mauricia. "I will pray 200 rosaries if I can have a moment of your time to hear my story and tell me if I am wrong or what I need to do." Mauricia blurted. Nothing came from the other side of the screen for almost 10 seconds, then a sigh came out and said, " I will entertain your thoughts and will give you the best advice I am able to provide through the help of our Lord. I must request we meet in my office as this may take longer than the confessional permits." Mauricia was content with anything at this point and followed the priest to the back of the church in a small office behind the altar.


Mauricia began to tell her story to the priest. Thirty minutes into the conversation the priest gets up and tells her, "My child, I feel you have suffered tremendously in the lifetime you have experienced to this time. What keeps you motivated to continue?" Mauricia did not fully comprehend his question but to the best of her ability responded, "Well, I keep hoping and praying I will have a good seat in heaven waiting for me. I've certainly been through enough and when it is time for me to go I will follow." The priest chuckled and accepted her response as he sat back down. "Now, you say Francisco had paperwork indicating he was coerced into marriage under duress?" asked the priest. "Yes, he indicated he had paperwork and was in the process of a divorce." Mauricia confirmed. "You are aware this is a difficult task to accomplish through the church young lady? Are you willing to wait and go through the time it will take to get this done? I am not approving you to live in sin. I am only explaining this will not be an easy feat. This will not be completed in a year or so, we are dealing with the Catholic Church, and there are several steps that need to be approved." Mauricia sat in the chair wringing her handkerchief and said, "I am now aware this will be a great deal of time and work involved to accomplish. Thank you for explaining the steps and reality of Francisco's situation to me." Mauricia kissed the priest's ring finger and began to leave his office with Teresa in tow when he said, "my child, if you ever need to talk again please come back." Mauricia smiled, nodded her head, turned around and headed out the door.

Full Circle (17)

"Look at all the dust! This place needs a good cleaning." Miguel shouted from the back of the house. Mauricia walked in and as she inspected their new home she put her hands on her hips and knew she had a lot of work ahead of her. Thankfully, the new home was only a single story and smaller than the old house in Salinas. Carmela looked around and slowly walked and smiled as she inspected the house. "I like it", Carmela said. Miguel and Andres were pleased that both ladies approved their taste. "We're glad you like it." Andres said. "Mauricia, we'll help you with the cleaning before the boxes are unpacked. Where should we start?" Mauricia eyed the house from floor to ceiling and said, "Let us start from the back and work our way to the front. We can sweep everything out of the front door as we work our way down." Mauricia had not felt this content in a long time. She missed her father and Maria del Carmen deeply and felt she could not stay at the house any longer if they were not there. Mauricia looked at Teresa and said, "Teresa, grab the bucket and walk with me, we are going to get water to start at the back of the house." The rest of the afternoon was spent cleaning and finally unpacking their belongings. Luckily, they arrived in Colonia El Meson on a Friday morning and had the rest of the weekend to accomplish this large task.

Within a couple of weeks both Miguel and Andres continued their studies and worked part time to earn wages to maintain the household. With selling the family business and the house they were able to purchase the home in El Meson and have money left over. Mauricia assisted the family by taking care of the house as well as cooking and running errands. Carmela began to come out of her depression slowly and made new friends in San Luis. Her time was taken up by her outings and trips back to Salinas to visit Maria Guadalupe and her newly adopted daughter, Lisette.

Mauricia appreciated her brothers' intentions about her well-being but became resentful after some time as she felt she was utilized the same as Maria del Carmen. She did not want to fall into the same pattern and told her brother's she needed space to go to church and begin participating in the religion classes. One morning as Miguel and Andres were preparing to leave to school Mauricia stopped them at the front door. "Wait!, I need to tell both of you something." "What is it Mauricia? We are going to miss our bus, hurry!" exclaimed Miguel. "I am going to the church to speak with the priest and ask if I can teach religion classes." Andres blurted out, "Okay, okay, tell us more about this tonight. We must go! Don't forget to pick up my shirts from the tailor and iron them before graduation." "Do not worry brother, I will be more than happy to get your shirts." Mauricia assured Andres. Mauricia dries her hands on her apron and with a mischievous smile knew they could not say no if she approached them when they were pressed for time.

Throughout the day Mauricia cleaned the house and made a list of items she needed to purchase at the mercado. Mauricia looked down at Teresa while she played with her doll. "Are you ready to go to the mercado Teresa?" "Si mama." answered Teresa as she stood up and grabbed onto Mauricia's hand. Mauricia heard footsteps from the front door and was surprised to see Miguel walk in. "What happened? Are you alright?" asked Mauricia. "I am fine, sister. The professor was called away on an emergency and classes ended early. I thought I would take Teresa to the plaza to watch the dancing monkey and feed the pigeons." Mauricia looked down at Teresa as she gleamed a large smile. "Alright Miguel, but watch her and do not let her stray away too far. This will work perfectly as I will meet with the priest after going to the market." Mauricia picked up her straw bag for the grocery items and her list as she headed out the door.

Everything in San Luis moved faster and was more crowded than Salinas. Mauricia could not help but turn around and look at everything twice in amazement as she walked down the avenue. The buildings were large and people walked as if they were in a race to get somewhere. "My life here will definitely change." Mauricia whispered to herself. Later on, Mauricia picked up the groceries at the mercado and arrived in time to pick up Andres' shirts as the tailor just finished the alterations.

Mauricia was carrying a heavy load and could not avoid bumping into people. "Excuse me. I'm sorry. Oh, I didn't see you." were the words Mauricia offered after each personal intrusion. In an instant Mauricia felt a jerk from Andres' shirts and soon realized someone stole the shirts and was running down the street. Mauricia began to run after the man yelling, "stop him! help! my shirts!" As Mauricia was running down the second block she knew she had to catch up to him to get Andres' shirts. All of a sudden the man made an abrupt stop and Mauricia bumped into him. She attempted to grab the shirts and the man turned around. "Francisco!" Mauricia yelled. Mauricia did not know whether to hug him or grab her shirts and run.

"Hello, Mauricia." said Francisco as he grinned and stared at her. "Give me my shirts!" Mauricia demanded as she swiped her arms in the air to grab the shirts. As Francisco was taller he moved the shirts from one side to another to avoid her grasp. "What do you want? You ought to be ashamed. Your a married man!" Mauricia protested. Francisco started to walk again at a fast pace and Mauricia ran behind him again. "What are you doing? Francisco where are you going?" Mauricia asked again. Francisco blurted, "Mauricia, the only thing I can say at this moment is that life has brought us together! I have looked everywhere for you and I am not about to lose you again! "You are married! There is nothing else to do Francisco!" Mauricia shouted at him. Francisco turned around and said, "I am in the middle of my divorce Mauricia. The witnesses at my wedding have written letters on my behalf acknowledging that my parents forced me to get married while heavily medicated. My so-called wife, Anna, has been terrible. She disappears, when I am at work, and goes to bars and leaves our two children behind. While I am at work the authorities call as my children cry because of hunger and the neighbors report she has not been home for hours to tend to them. I tried to make this work as we were married by the church but there is no way this relationship will work as she is not a wife! Do you see the scar on my forehead? She threw a rock at me when I told her I was going to leave her. I did not hit her, I left the house. Mauricia I came to San Luis to look for you as I finally had the courage to talk to Cipriana and tell her my situation. The only thing she advised me was to pray to God and whatever was meant to be will happen. She directed me to San Luis and to hope for the best but did not tell me where you were. Do you not see? We are meant to be together." Francisco stepped towards Mauricia. "Stop it! Stop it! Don't touch me", Mauricia backed up and waved her bag of groceries at Francisco. "Do you not understand how much time it has taken me to forget you?! Many nights I've cried myself to sleep only to wake up and realize my heart still ached. Stop talking! I do not want to hear you anymore. Please give me my shirts and I will be on my way." Mauricia puts out her hand and Francisco hands over the shirts. "Mauricia, please give me some time to explain my situation. If you ever have time you can find me at the railroad by downtown. I work there; just ask for me by name." Mauricia tells Francisco, "I will pray for you and hope you find a solution to your problems." Mauricia turned around and hurried back down the street gripping her grocery bag and shirts.